Fun Facts about Kelly

How We Met

It was August 1989 at Miami University in Oxford Ohio. For those who know me, I am never late for anything. Just ask Kyle, Jacob and Corrine how early we get to the airport for flight…and watch them roll their eyes ;-). Well, I was late for Japanese 101 on the first day of class. I ran into the classroom, and luckily the first chair by the door was open. So, I snuck in. Well, the teacher let me and the class know what he thought of being late. I turned to my left…and after laughing a bit…the girl next to me said "Hi…I'm Kelly."

A Proposal Almost Gone South

It was the week before Christmas 1992. Kelly and I were Christmas shopping on Michigan Ave. She would always make fun of me because I 'needed' idea days for gifts….which were really hours upon hours of just walking and shopping. This morning, I had to run a quick 'errand' while we were shopping. I hopped in a cab to Wabash street and picked up her engagement ring that I had bought. I had it in my pocket the whole day, my hand didn't leave the pocket once. After dinner, we took a cab over to the planetarium which has one of the best view of the Chicago skyline. With the skyline as the backdrop, I proposed to her. With tears of joy, she said yes…and we sat there talking and hugging on the steps by the planetarium. Well….after a few minutes I look to our left….and what do I see scurrying toward us….yep…a good size Chicago rat. So, the first major decision with my fiancé. Do I interrupt a perfect moment with us or deal with what I know will be screaming which would make terror movies look tame? So, I gently made up an reason to leave and walk along the harbor. Disaster averted. Point for Andy ;-) I didn't tell her until later.

October 23, 1993 - Our Wedding Day

It was an absolutely beautiful fall day in the Chicago area for our wedding. For those of you who shared that day with us, I thank you so much for being part of our lives. 30 years almost to day later….I say Goodbye to the love of my life.

Our Christmas Travel Tradition

We have always enjoyed traveling. In 2013, Kel had the idea to start a new Christmas tradition. Instead of the normal Christmas that we had both loved and grown up with, she wanted to travel to swap out presents for the shared travel experience and memories. And so it started Christmas 2013. Kel wrapped the kids suitcases, put passports inside and we wrote the poem below in each suitcase. The day after Christmas we flew to London and started the last 10 years of Christmas travel memories.

Poem in Kyle, Jacob and Corrine's Suitcases

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through our house

Not a creature was stirring, thankfully not even a mouse;

Our stockings were hung by the Chimney with care

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

Kyle, Jacob and Corrine were nestled snug in their beds;

While Santa, mom and dad figured a nifty trip in their head;

Mom in her winter coat and dad in his baseball cap,

We sat down with Santa to take look at Google maps.

Indiana! Ohio! Wisconsin or Kentucky?

Could we really all be that lucky?

Or perhaps we should go somewhere really insane,

Maybe somewhere only reachable by airplane!

With the temperature dropping one by one,

We need an idea better than a warm sticky bun,

To the ocean, the mountains or Boston Town Hall,

Dash away dash away dash away all.

Santa was dressed in fur from his head to his foot,

His clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot,

Said “Hold on just a minute, these places don’t sound quite right,

We must think a bit more before I must say good night.”

So the three of us huddled and thought some more

Where would the Arquette family like to explore?

Santa looked deep deep into his bag of tricks,

And that is when we decided that we should leave on December the Twenty Six!

Santa sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away Santa and his reindeer flew like the down of a thistle.

We heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,

Merry Christmas to all and have a safe flight!

But where oh where did Santa, Mom and Dad decide

The Arquette family’s Christmas adventure would preside?

Unwrap your gifts under our perfect tree

Who will be the first one to holler with glee?

Kelly's Guide to Living with Cancer

October 2010 - "You Have Cancer"

Cry, Cry, Cry…then hug, hug and hug some more.
Then, create a picture of the best damn doctor in the world to be your partner, advocate, guide and care for the journey. We did…..her name is Regina! She is our guardian angel on earth.

"Everyone has a Plan"

I think generally I hear this attributed to Mike Tyson, "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth."
Well…..cancer had a plan for Kel until it got punched in the mouth by her…..again and again and again. For 13 years Kel did not back down from any treatment, set back, development, tough day, good day, and all the ups and downs that are just part of this journey.

Raise 3 Wonderful Kids in Kyle, Jacob & Corrine

How she did not miss one of the kids activities even on her toughest days….I'll never know.
Go to every game and activity: Baseball, Softball, Soccer, Basketball, Volleyball, Irish Dance, Robotics, Rugby, College Visits, etc.
Coach softball
Be the loudest fan at each one….well, maybe Toni Harris & Kel together

When You Lose Your Hair

What else but let your kids cut it off. Let's just say Kyle and Jacob both cut off one strand….and then it was Corrine's turn. Now, she was about 5 the first time Kel lost her hair. You would have thought she owed her own salon. I just stood back and watched and laughed. Corrine loved the whole thing.
Then when it grows back and it's different than it was before…have fun with it. Dye it pink!

One Mother's Day Weekend

It was never about her. Kel was coaching Corrine's softball team. Like most weekend, they had a tournament. On Saturday evening, she felt her heart racing and we went to the ER. We were at the ER all night and were discharged at 8am on Mothers' Day. So, what do you do on Mothers Day when you've been in the ER all night and haven't slept…..you of course coach 3 softball games for 8 hours and win the championship. Yep…when you're Kel…that's what you do!

Travel

That was our thing…to travel as a family and bond and create memories that will endure forever. Since 2010, we didn't know how long we would have…so, no matter what medical schedule she had…we traveled as a family. Build your memories in:
- London
- Paris
- Amsterdam
- Belgium
- Copenhagen
- Sweden
- Norway
- Spain
- Italy
- Scotland
- Argentina
- Costa Rica
- Jamaica
- Alaska
- Wyoming
- Montana
- South Dakota

Just Do It

Just do things. Sometimes they may cost more than you want and be a little scary or you may not feel up to it….but we did things together that will make us laugh and reminisce for a long time.
Some of Kel's things that she planned and did in this journey:
- Go Dog Sledding in the Lapland of Sweden.
- Take a hot air balloon in Tuscany
- Go whale watching in the North Sea in winter….maybe don't pick winter for this…ask Kyle, Jacob and Corrine about this story.
- Go whale watching in Alaska in a very small boat and track a pod of Orca's for 3 hours. When they get so close that they are looking at you and you are looking at them at the side of the boat….don't say a word….just enjoy and give each other great big hugs.
- Sit and watch the heaving of glaciers in Southern Argentina. It's mother nature in all her awe.
- Take a float plane through a mountain valley and watch the bears below.
- Snowmobile….snowmobile…snowmobile. For one such trip, try snowmobiling through northern Sweden and go to the Ice Hotel and get an exclusive tour of the place (Thanks Anders)
- Try your hand a fly fishing in Argentina and Montana….and she caught a bunch of fish.
- Go Kayaking around glaciers
- Mountain bikes in the Andes
- Hike down the Rock of Gibraltar
- Ziplining through the rainforest in Costa Rica
- Riding through the hills of Tuscany on a moped
- Driving tiny car through the streets of Rome

Share Your Experience

Kel must have written a hundred pages on her day to day experiences with cancer to guide and help others. All those things they (whoever they are) don't tell you. We were 'beginners' in 2010 and had no idea. We became the experts to help others, and talk to people to help them understand what lies ahead.
I am sure the management at Northwestern Hospital (Regina is laughing here) has volume of Kelly's 'suggestions' to improve patient care and patient experiences. She was her own advocate and an advocate for all others who may not have as strong of a voice.

Help Start a Company

Kel was the first (and only at the time) head of Human Resources for fairlife. She created all the HR systems and people stuff and recruited a lot of the long timers. fairlife has been tremendously successful and there are so many people in our fairlife family that have supported us through the years. Find a team like this and you will never feel alone.
Kel would recruit people when we weren't even fairlife at the time nor known by anyone. In recruiting people for our first plant in Coopersville Michigan, her second most frequent place to interview people was at the local Arby's. How she convinced people to join our journey?
Kel did this at fairlife until 2017 when cancer 2.0 started.

Get a Dog

Hope came into our lives from a shelter in 2019. She is a very loving and very quirky girl.
She would make us smile and laugh even on the toughest days.
Yes…somedays she made the day a little harder….but it was worth it!

Never Give Up

I don't mean this from the fighting cancer standpoint. That kinda goes without saying. She never gave up living and doing and loving and fighting. She never let the 'what could happen' get in the way of 'we are doing this and we'll deal with any bumps'.

Why Me?

That will come right away. Let it come. Don't fight it. You have to let it come to get to the next level.
Kelly got over this and her mentality became "Why not me?" She lived life with this mentality all through cancer.
We are blessed to be born in the time and place that we are. It's all how you deal with what life throws at you.

Random Kelly Things

Mice

No….No….and No. Nothing could fluster her……..except these little things.

Squirrels

Think of Bill Murray in Caddyshack vs. the groundhogs. Yep, that was Kelly vs. squirrels.

Donuts

Are the opposite of mice….she loved a good donut.

The Cello

In grade school, Jacob chose to play (and I use play loosely) the Cello. The cello is the largest instrument that you don't leave at school. Guess who would end up taking to school…yep, nothing like the daily cello drop out.

Fireworks At Good Times

Every Fourth of July, we would go to Munster Indiana where Kel grew up. We would go to the Commander for dinner at get our allotment of fireworks at Good Times. Always a fun…albeit interesting…experience every time.

Donuts

Were her favorite dessert. Did not hurt that a Stan's Donuts was located in Northwestern.

Sit Coms

From Seinfeld, Frasier, New Girl, Friends, Parks & Rec…she loved her laugh out loud Sit Coms

Motivational Music

Nothing gets you ready for a volleyball game more than a good Pitch Perfect Rif off and a Hannah Montana throw down!

Full Tank of Gas in the Car

Nope….never heard of it…not meant to be…why have more than a quarter tank? And Corrine got that gene in spades.

Charged Phone

See full tank of Gas. Ditto on both fronts

Point for Andy

For those who know me, I had a goatee for about 10 years. Kelly and Michelle went away for the weekend to Austin. For some reason, I just decided it was time to shave it off. So…Corrine and I went to Midway to pick up Kel and Michelle…and was wondering what she would think of my non-goatee face. I step out of our car, give her a kiss and a hug…..and nothing. She didn't notice. Corrine and I just smiled the whole way home. Not until dinner where Kyle, Jacob and Corrine asked her if there was anything different. We all had a good laugh. That may have been the only point on my side for things like that ;-)

Straw wrappers and Pennies!

I like to keep our cars clean. Let's just say it was less important to Kelly and Corrine. How a car can collect so many straw wrappers and pennies….I'll never know. Corrine says that she and Kel would go to Starbucks, take off their straw wrappers and say "1…2….3" and then throw them up in the air in the car. And then she would tell Corrine "Don't tell dad we do this".

Mama Bear

If anyone was more selfless and protective and loving and focused and driven for her kids….I haven't seen it. Kyle, Jacob and Corrine were the center of her life. And for those of you who know Kyle, Jacob and Corrine…you can see her in each of them and see how wonderful each of them are in their own respect.

Euchre

For those of you who don't know what this game is….shame on you ;-). Kel loved paying Euchre as a family. Try it…you may not stop.

Ale House

For a few years, Jacob and Corrine went to a religious education program at Ascension after school each Wednesday. For the duration of the class, Kelly and Kyle would hang out at the Avenue Ale House in Oak Park. Kelly would get a Diet Coke, Kyle would get a Sprite, and they sat at the same table each time. After going there for a few weeks, the staff at the Ale House would bring over a Diet Coke and a Sprite without even taking their order.

Kelly's Mocktails

Kel did not drink during her 13 years of cancer...but....she loved a good Mocktail. Thank you to all our places who embraced Mocktails. We will have a couple Kelly Mocktails on the menu

Beautiful Crazy

By Luke Combs....My song for Kel....It is her!

People

Michelle Gill

Kel and I met at a mommy-and-me class with our firstborns Kyle and Alex. It was circle time with babes in our laps, and we were rockin’ out with maracas and castanets. I was re-entering the world after a very dark year, because pregnancy hormones and I did not agree. I was shell-shocked and a bit trepidatious, but Kelly welcomed me back into the land of the living. She was a beacon of light, lifting me up, as she initiated smiles and chit chat that I so desperately needed. One day after class, she and Kyle slowed their pace so that Alex and I would catch up - and from that moment on, she began to orchestrate the most wonderful friendship and sisterhood for the two of us. As Kelly would do, she began making plans. In classic Kelly fashion, she did all of the heavy lifting and made everything happen. She made it all so special. She made it magical.

It started with simple meet ups at the park, but Kel was a dreamer, and we would go on to have endless adventures with our kids… trips to the zoo, arboretums, children’s museums, countless places, near and far. At the very heart and soul of our amazing friendship were our beautiful families, our reason for being. Nothing meant more to Kel than Andy, Kyle, Jacob, and Corrine. We had set aside successful corporate careers, but we both were confident in that decision, and leaned into each other for the next 20+ years. We shared so much, including a passion for fountain cokes (diet for her and regular for me), and countless celebrations with our families. I know that everyone shared a special and unique bond with Kelly. She had a way of making everyone feel like they were especially special to her. And that’s because we really were.

Michele McAndrews

Kelly was my oldest continuous friend; I can hear her in my head correcting me, since she was the youngest of our friend group. My family moved from Chicago to Oak Park in August 2003. I had two boys and was 7.5 months pregnant with my daughter. My oldest son Cullen had been registered to start preschool in the city, but with the move I had a very short time to make new arrangements. Thankfully, Pilgrim Nursery School had one spot left but it was in the afternoon session, which wasn’t my first choice. Cullen was assigned to the same room as Kelly’s son Kyle, and on his very first day in early SeptemberI met all the other moms and Kelly was one of them. Cullen and Kyle along with a couple of other boys really hit it off. Our small group would let the boys play outside after class while us moms got to know one another. By the time my daughter was born we were friends and not just because our sons got along. That afternoon spot turned out to be Kismet.

I had so many great times with Kelly, and we shared the same opinions and outrage regarding many topics. When she moved to Home Ave. I convinced her that gardening was a wonderful pastime and we spent many days shopping for plants and joking about our plans to run away to Iceland. I spent a lot of time with Kelly over the past three years including helping her out with The Holiday Food and Gift Basket program. I thought she was nuts when she decided to take on that project, but I am now so thankful for all the time we spent together working on it.

Kelly has been a constant in my life for over twenty years. She was there for me during the worst times in my life because no matter what was happening to her, the problems of the people she loved became her first priority. It was during these difficult times that we had long soul baring conversations that allowed us to truly get to know one another and bond on a deep level. I know now that many of the times she asked me to help her were her subtle and sneaky ways of getting me out of the house and giving me a much-needed distraction from what I was going through. I will miss her every day, but she will stay with me as a constant reminder of the extraordinary things a person is capable of.

Jim, Jen & Augie

Kelly had one sibling, Jim, her younger brother by four years. As a kid, Jim remembers sitting with his mom and being impressed by his older sister’s windmill pitches in her high school softball games. He also remembers being so proud of his sister’s achievements when he visited her at Miami of Ohio. Jim and Kelly grew much closer as they grew older and Kelly’s relationship with Andy became the standard for Jim’s own relationship. They stood up in each other’s weddings and Kelly eventually forgave Jim and his wife Jen for selecting a wedding date for which Kelly would be nine months pregnant with Jacob (with one year old Kyle and a horrible cold to boot). Jim and Jen fondly remember family gatherings like coloring Easter eggs with their mom and Grandma Helen (who was an egg-dying machine) and Kelly and Andy’s family pumpkin carving contests.

Kelly was a fierce protector of her family and always looked after Jim as he managed the progression of his Multiple Sclerosis. They shared a deep understanding and connection of what it was like to live fully with a disease. When Jen and Jim had their own child, Augie, at 29 weeks, Kelly made trips to the NICU and supported them through the beginnings and beyond of parenthood. She was an incredible sister, sister-in-law and a “Super Aunt”. She treated Augie as one her own, always making visits extra-special for him, whether it be with family water balloon fights, s'mores around the fire pit, chats on the porch swing, or board games and Harry Potter trivia. Augie’s fondest memories were when Kelly and the whole Arquette family showed up to his school production of Annie, Jr. and cheered him on in his baseball and soccer games. As a family, what we appreciated most was the time and attention we received during our visits. Long conversations around the table (and the opportunity to finally sit down) will be sorely missed but well remembered. Kelly’s capacity for love was enormous and she enveloped everyone in it - we will feel the remnants of her warm embrace and carry her spirit in our hearts always.

From Andy's Dad & Mom:

October 1990 - Parents' Weekend Miami University

It was Andy's junior year and we were at a mall, planning to get together with Andy later for dinner. Suddenly we see this cute young gal running towards us with her arms open, getting ready to hug us! It was, of course, Kelly. So nervous, but excited about meeting us. We didn't realize how many of her wonderful hugs were still to come.

October 1991

Andy & Kelly were driving to meet Kelly's parents. Now, Mary loves Broadway musicals. While Andy enjoyed them, I could never get him to sing some of the tunes along with me. Well, driving through Gary, Indiana, Andy broke out in song, singing "Gary Indiana" from " The Music Man" at Kelly's urging! Mary thought, "could Kelly be THE ONE?"

September 1992 Andy moving to Chicago for his first job

Tears, tears, tears - Andy was moving to Chicago. Bob was going with Andy to help him move in. Mary had to stay home for work, she was so sad that she couldn't be there. But, Kelly was there and she let me know that Andy was ok and she had made Purple Cookies for him. Now Purple Cookies go back to when Andy was 3 years old and was afraid to go to story hour at the library. He said he would go if we made Purple Cookies later. So for the sad and trying times in our family, Purple Cookies were there. When Kelly made Purple Cookies for him when he was moving in, I knew - she was THE ONE!